You always hear people say “I fell in love with you”. Have you ever heard someone saying “I have grown in love with you.”
Maybe not?
OR
None…. I can say so.
Do you know what the difference is between the two sentences, apart from the grammatical discrepancies?
Not much.
Both are the same, talking about love and loving someone. The only firm difference is falling in love at times becomes bi-directional ones give to get love and the moment there is a clash or a lack in this give and take policy. That marks the beginning of all the miseries and distancing.
Falling in love makes you attach yourself to that special someone (which is not bad at all), to such an extent that you can’t associate anything happening in your life to anyone else other than your special partner. And if by any chance, your wish or your plans and expectations go unfulfilled. It causes immense pain and forces you to think otherwise.
That’s when getting becomes more predominant than giving.
Making it more obvious to you from that point in life that you want to get more love and attention than you want to give the same to your special someone. You become more calculative in any and every single step (no matter how small or big), starting from a bite less in your lunch or an hour late in your meetings.
Once giving becomes more than taking, that makes you do stuff which you would rather not even think of doing. You will shout, howl, get irritated, fight and make things uncomfortable, taking things haywire where it will no longer be about “Love and Peace”. You will be left with just “What didn’t I get”, “What did I do for her”, “Have I gained anything in life?”, “You have other priorities” and many more.
On the other hand,
“Growing in love with someone” is when you grow with the person, you learn to stand up from ruins all just by holding his hands, you learn to smile amongst all the bitterness, our void finds a medium of fulfillment and your life becomes easy despite all the hardships. There is no give or take, rather I should place it like there are no materialistic expectations. You don’t become dependent on the other but you just ask and appreciate each other’s decisions or suggestions.
No matter, you are sitting with him in the front seat of his car or you are talking to him when he is Miles away, the undying trust always says you, he is there always there. You enlighten the other in every walk of their life’s by talking about each other’s strengths and weaknesses, not with the intension to point out each other’s mistakes or bluff them by saying their strengths but just with the motive to show them a ray of hope when it is most needed.
There is no aspect of trying to impress the other or prove you are better at something. You don’t feel that’s needed at all, instead, you willingly show all your flaws and scars just to let him know you are not picture-perfect but the little goodness is not fake.
It doesn’t matter how good or bad have you done, just the fact that you want to walk the path of betterment is enough to prove you have grown in love. And here as well you attach all your life, your aim, your wish list, your beautiful moments to happen and has happened with your special one. Does in no way mean, you get angry or irritated if things don’t go as planned or as expected. Maybe it might sound unhuman as we people don’t generally react likewise. But trust me and ask yourself the truth at that point we always convince ourselves by saying, “That’s ok. Maybe next time”.
No matter the day or time, they are always there for each other for everything happening good or bad. And the excitement to see each other always remains the same throughout his/her life be it their first meet or just a visit after months.
There are no allegations or unwanted questioning rather all you wish for every single moment of your life is for him and his family to be happy and healthy throughout his life.
Thus, the saying goes, “Love only gives and forgives, Always.”
Love is not a measurement or materialistic attachments to each other in this case. It is just a feeling an emotion attaching each other’s soul despite all the practical and societal differences in place. You no longer live for yourself you live for your special someone for the rest of your life and even if tomorrow you are in pain and try to give up your life all that feels and comes in front of your eyes is his smiling face and shining brown eyes (saying you look amazing in this green dress) that never lets you go ahead with suicidal thoughts.